Written By: Nelson Lee
Whether you’re working through anxiety, trauma, OCD, or another mental struggle, navigating fear is a critical piece to getting to a healthier mental place.
It’s important to recognize that fear often shows up when we’re faced with uncertainty, and it can be triggered by challenging circumstances, thoughts, and tough emotions. When it inevitably comes up, it’s important to keep the following in mind:
- Don’t run
- Practice staying in the present
- Focus on what you can control
Let’s look at each of these.
Don’t Run
Think about it, when we run from things, we’re confirming to our brain and nervous system that those things are threats. This is appropriate and helpful when we’re facing a tiger or bear out in the wild, but most of the things we come in contact with in our everyday life are not direct threats to our safety.
For example, a frightening thought about the future can feel scary and threatening, but inherently thoughts are not dangerous. The thought itself can’t hurt you, and in the present there’s no certainty that the frightening thing is or isn’t going to happen. However, when we react to thoughts like this, and especially when we avoid and run from them, our brain registers that the thought itself is a threat. This increases feelings of anxiety and stress each consecutive time we have the thought.
So, when it comes to fears, whether they be thoughts or otherwise, we’re often much better off not running and learning to embrace the fears as a part of our life. To do this, we have to be willing to feel and embrace the discomfort that shows up in our body when fear arrives.
A simple practice for this when you’re feeling the effects of fear is to do a body scan and notice the sensations associated with the fear. This might look like tension in your muscles, a pit in your stomach, or other uncomfortable sensations. The important thing here is to allow these sensations rather than avoiding or trying to fix them. This slowly teaches your body that it is safe, and the fear will eventually subside.
Disclaimer: if you are facing a fear that involves immediate danger, please do act to protect yourself!
Practice Staying in the Present
Unless you’re in an immediately dangerous or fearful situation, fear can’t survive when you’re living in the present. What often feeds fear is the continued worrying and rumination about the future that follows it. These mental behaviors are essentially us trying to live in and control the future and only add fuel to the fire, thus increasing the discomfort and intensity of the fear itself.
A great way to think about this concept is that what you give your energy to will grow. If fear shows up and you give it all your attention through worrying and controlling behaviors, that fear will continue to grow. On the other hand, if you experience fear, accept it, and move on throughout your day while staying present, the fear will eventually dissipate, and your body will return to a state of calm.
To further develop this skill of staying in the present, I highly recommend cultivating a daily meditation and mindfulness practice.
Focus on What You can Control
Many of the fears we face in our day and age involve things we have no control over. The truth of being human is that we can’t control all the painful things that could potentially happen to us in life. So we are faced with a decision. Like mentioned above, when the fear of these painful things shows up, we can either give them our energy—often in the form of worrying—or we can focus on what we can control.
In my opinion, one of the best remedies for fear is the ability to pivot your attention to the things that matter to you that are in your control. This teaches your brain that your sense of safety comes from building the life you want, rather than solving fears. This might look like mindfully focusing on building your relationships with friends and family, engaging in a hobby you love, or doing meaningful work. With ongoing, consistent practice, this creates a strong sense of resilience to fear and anxiety.
While we will occasionally all experience fear—fear and anxiety are natural parts of the human experience—when we increase our ability to focus on the things in our control that we care about, the fearful experiences that inevitably come with life won’t overtake us.elf-discovery and renewal. Embrace the changes, nurture your health, and celebrate your strength. Life after cancer is not just about survival; it’s about thriving and finding joy in every moment.
Therapist Draper
Therapist Draper. Counseling in Draper Utah, Counseling Draper
